This website has been put on hold while other priorities overtake my life. It's busy, but I'm getting there. Where I'll end up in the end, even I don't know. But as a wonderful group of peers have reminded me, "all who wander are not lost".
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I am satisfied knowing...I put in over 680 hours into my practicum...and after 11 weeks of being abroad...I managed to accomplish the Leadership Without Borders Training of Trainers, module development, conduct a staff training and Needs Assessment as well as a draft report of the assessment interviews.
Was it worth it? I'd do it all again and stay longer if I could afford it. Still, knowing I'm committed to helping them in whichever way I can - means to me - they are my extended family. This is the essence of who I am as an Aboriginal Social Worker. Note to self.... Hall and Oats "ooh ooh child"....... so....where am I at today? "No gas for the childrne's homes....cannot cook food inside and so out came this tiny one pot cooker that was made of clay and with a little space to put charcoal in it...and we had...chicken necks!!! Yum! I love this stuff....along with the flavour of breadfruit and dumplings! mmmmmmmmmmmm
I spoke with Lorne earlierr....and got to talking about structural factors that underly and challenge the work of the home....from low functioning literacy to the lack of clarity in policies and to the difficulty of operating a business - non-profit on donations with only about 50,000 ECD awarded from the government for the operation of the homes....this does not cover salary of the staff or food....the government's practice is mainly focused on economic development with little resources available for social programs and for children in need of care. Still considering some of the things that I've observed and learned about...it's easy to see how the lack of structure makes lines blurred....where I recently learned about a child's situation...and where my own ethical responsibilities and professional responsiblities required my discussing concerns with my supervisor. I've been fortunate enough to have a wonderful supervisor who is not only willing to hear my ideas and concers, but also willing to work out possible potential solutions. This is refreshing in the work environment because this feels like a win-win" "My first big hug by one little guy today....he made me think of my brother....and of another little guy I once knew...and I fell in love with him after he ran up to me with a big wide smile calling out "Auntie! come!" blowing me kisses to entice me to go help him get his food he wanted....and then just when I thought my heart was his....one of the young ladies came up to me....threw her arms around me and just rested her head on my shoulder....what a wonderful feeling to just be there supporting and giving hugs back.
I think though...my biggest surprise came from one young man who was famous for getting into trouble...and perhaps who worried the staff the most...when he came up to me and simply hugged me....and all I could do was wish I could offer him so much more than just my hugs....I wished right then and there that he could come live with me and meet my family. As I'm getting to know the children, I'm seeing how these children are wonderful children...who will test boundaries...but who also desire to be loved and wanted...just as much as anyone else....and so already I know - I'm a lifelong friend of theirs and my doors will always be open to them....should they so choose to come stay with me. How do I keep my heart in from breaking "Today I ask myself how I feel about corporal punishment?....and how do I feel about being in a country that views corporal punishment as 'normal'? "Today...I did obseravations....coming to the Home to do observations...of a place and property that is big enough for roaming in the yard...with several trees shading the place....the building is two homes beside one another where the boys' home is behind the girls' home. The houses are clearly crowded and initial feelings in the boys home left me lonely. I think it was the blue paint of the home's kitchen. There's a certain shade of blue that makes me feel desolate inside because it reminds me of the hospital institution stayed in for about a month when I got sick as a child. And I wondered how the boys felt with the colour.
Inside the boys house...the bathroom sink is busted up and on the floor...there is no door in the bathroom either....the living room has two big couches covered by blankets...to hide the damaged chairs from the boys having damaged the sofas....it seems this is also the same in the girls home....where the girls have also damaged their sofa.... ....all of these observations of the two homes makes me realize how much work there is to do...and similar to our homes on reserves....the buildings are older...and in need of desperate repairs" "It is sooooo hard not to get frustrated with how slow things can be here. What a statemnt to make as one who is SLOW HERSELF!!!
It seems there's so much to learn. There's plenty to do but it seems so little time to do...so first things first....one small patient step at a time. A few nights ago for example...I got here at 1 pm....and wanted to do work, only to find my fan was no longer working....so one of the Sisters showed up to ask if my fan worked...when I said I wasn't sure...I was told to try it while she watched....being one who could never say a word that was interpreted as cross - especially to a Sister (inside I was dying to ask for time alone since I already had a deadline)...I reluctantly agreed - giving my work on last mournful look, and started the side track task....some 2 hours later....I made the mistake of mentioning that I would like to clean my place soon....and suddenly...there was Sister with a mop, bucket and detergent in her hands....offering to help me! Sigh....she stayed to ensure I know how much detergent to use along with watching me carry out my tasks....soooo....not wanting to offend Sister....I first tackled cleaning the fan....and then cleaning my room...finally....when I thought I was done....WRONG!!!!....there were the Sisters kindly appearing at my door inviting me to mass.....as I knew inside I had to get my work done and had just spent over 3 hours side tracked from my work....well....after swallowing every ounce of impatience and dreaded doom that I would fail my pracitcum...I reluctantly concurred and began the process of getting ready for church... I was told church would only be 1 hour....thinking to myself...I rationalized...welllllllll....how bad can it be to have 1 more hour of time away from work? WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!!!!!!!!!!!! 3 hours later I was still in church...and silently...I laughed at my own foolish impatience...how Western I was ...but yet my Eurowestern instructors think I'm slow!....all I could do was grin and look over at Sister....and think...."what a wonderful lesson I'm learning here"...I quickly am seeing how I've bought into a somewhat western idea of time....though my sense of time remains slower than my Canadian friends....I know I have to adjust fast...or this sense of guilt over not 'working' according to western notions of work and not staying busy enough according to Algonquin notions of working will eat me up!" "So what lessons am I learning? Listening to the radio - there is a conversation going on about criminal behaviou...and thoughts about how criminals need to realize they have to come forward and see the way they are impacting their children. Here's a journal entry from my book:
"Well - an exhausting day yesterday! Lessons learned....next time....bring less weekend wear!!! NO OPEN SHOULDERS HERE!!! No tank tops - the women prefer to wear t-shirts, blouses and skirts. Note to self: going out to eat is expensive! Meals here go from $45.00 to $98.00 ECD...WORD OF ADVICE - NEXT TIME....pick up a copy of "THE LONELY PLANET". Lesson learned....along with having your passport and eticket to the full destination...have the ACTUAL ADDRESS FULL AND COMPLETE along with the first and last name of the people you will be living with...the phone number and make sure to know if the streets have actual names and whether there is a postal code.... So what of my work? Well for now...I was told to sleep in.....time here happens as it should....it's a very relaxed sense" |
AuthorAlways up for learning new things - I look forward to new experiences and meeting new people. Archives
January 2011
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